• alone is okay...maybe even good

  We have all found ourselves alone...eating, walking, driving to meet others so we won't be alone. Sometimes we are on our way (on foot or on wheels) to get away from others so we can be...alone.

  Being alone can be on purpose, forced, or it just happens. It doesn't have to be painful, humiliating, or the source of anxious moments and worry-producing feelings.

 Alone can be a place of rest, discovery, creativity, solace, contemplation.

And now, during the busy, helter-skelter, where-the-(heck)-do-we-park? season we need to find moments to be alone and:

Recharge - a favorite (even quiet) tea shop on a downtown side street with great scones. (Just get the scone and have a bite or three.)

Restore - sitting with one good friend (spouse, adult child, true friend) for a conversation where you both mostly listen while savoring a glass or Pinot Noir (David Bruce makes a good one)

[Photo, left, my breakfast at Buena Vista Cafe, San Francisco, 1 Dec. 2010.]

Refresh - A hot bath in the middle of the day or the steam room at the hotel spa that lets you use their enite spa facitily for the price of a massage. (Exspensive? Well..what's the cost of not doing it and carrying all that tension? Call me to meet for wine only after your spa visit.)

   Renew - visiting a candlelit church (not your own) in the rearly morning, late-late-night and lighting a few candles for close friends who need your alone prayers. (Bobo and Sonja are the candles now twinkling in my life. Their courage makes me stronger.)

Release - letting go the obligation to "Shop" for everyone on that too-long list of folks you "think" need a present from you. IF they are grown ups, a simple card with a line of two of your truest feelings of thier place in your life should be more than enough. (If it's not enough, they can find somebody else's list to be on next year.)

Return - to the center of our faith...in ourselves (confidence not selfish pride), and in our Creator—who is at the heart of this season, however you celebrate it. And if you do not celebrate, return to Bethlehem...alone.

You'll find a small oil lamp, burning in a cave.

You'll find a young couple and their new baby—IT'S A BOY!

[Thanks to my friend Val for pointing me to this film by ANdre Dorfman and poet/songwriter, Tanya Davis.]

Comments

[Account Deleted]

I love this video! My alone time is extremely important to my mental health. Every other Monday is "Niki Day" and I use it to refill and refresh. Your blog post and this video are great descriptions of how and why I need and protect my "Niki Days."

I've found it interesting that many of my friends don't think they deserve or need alone time, or they don't think they can squeeze it into their busy lives. I think you find a way to make time for what's important.

BTW, I'm reading SARK's new book. Thanks for posting about it. It's FABULOUS! :)

[Niki]

I have no idea how I signed in for that comment. Again, love the post! :)

[McNair Wilson]

Niki! Thanks for checking in. I love that you schedule regular "Niki Days"- - Me too! (But I call them "McNair Days." When some one asks "Can we get together next Monday?" I look in my calendar (on my Mac or iPhone) and if it says "McNair Day" I say, "I have something that day...how about Wed.?"

The exception would be someone who wants to hire me...I can move a McNair day for cash.

Re: SARK's new book, did you notice in the picture on this blog post, (the one I shot at breakfast at the Buena Vista Caff, SF) there's a copy of "GLAD No Matter What" (behind my Irish coffee) that I was reading that morning.