Tea with McNair

• ugh!

Wes Roberts--the “Wild Old Man of Denver” (more precisely, Parker, CO)--he who pushed me the last few steps into the blogosphere--emailed this day to tell of his hectic week that’s about to get “hectic-er.” in the middle of his brief e-missive Wes writes.…
    “Ugh...is the only ‘prayer’ I can muster at the moment.  More thoughts of prayer will come, I know, as we, together, tackle a very sad situation.”
    His “ugh” tagged a place in me whence cometh my own and often “ughs.” I hit reply and wrote to my Parker pal:
    "Ugh" is a favorite prayer of mine. In fact, I told God, long ago, that when ever he hears me "Ugh"..."Consider it a prayer."
    I've determined that "Ugh" means, "This (item, project, or person) is too heavy for me. Could you get on the other end and help me (lift, carry, or throw it away), NOW!"
    Blessings, smiles, hugs, and ughs! Hey, that's it! If we look at our "ughs" differently, they can be "hugs"!
    Word games are not a regular activity of my mind, but I do take a shot at the occasional Mensa quiz in in-flight magazines. But when I saw “ughs” and “hugs” side-by-side in the screen of my Powerbook, I thought of all the creative problem solving I’ve been a part of that was finally untangled by seeing differently.
    Some times, nay, often, all I need do to unravel a problem is rearrange it, walk around behind it for a different perspective or merely imagine its opposite.
    They asked Jesus to pick his favorite of the Ten Commandments. He picked two: love God with everything you’ve got and love your neighbor, as much as you love yourself. (There’s a not-so-subtle hint there to love yourself. Otherwise, your neighbor is in for a pretty bad day--if you come over.)
    “And I’ll give you a new one,” Jesus added. “Love your enemy, it’ll drive him nuts!”
    He was saying anyone who makes you say the Ugh Prayer, needs your hugs. That’ll confuse them, slow them down. It might get them to look at the world or you differently, better.
    Go out and find somebody to ugh.

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• he liked me, i think

[Read this entire piece, even though it may sound self-aggrandizing at first.]

Every now and then I Google myself just to see what comes up. It’s a throw back to when I first started traveling professionally--speaking and performing. I spent a lot of time in big airports, still do, and to kill time between flights I would, now-and-then, page me.
    “Would the party meeting McNair Wilson please come to...” and I’d wait to see who would show up. About two in five times, somebody would. A friend who also traveled a lot met me in Chicago’s behemoth O’Hareport on three such occasions. My Uncle George who traveled more than a 727 met me once and loved the idea of self-paging. Mostly it was college students and other folks that had heard me speak.
    Yesterday, while self-Googling, I discovered two new web posts on me. One was a guy who had been in one of my Imaginuity sessions recently and was reviewing the workshop and me. He was disappointed in the workshop (not what he expected, of needed, or wanted...I think), but he was quite positive about me. At first I didn’t want to read his fairly lengthy post. It felt like a bad theatrical review. (The rule in the theatre is either you read all your reviews, or you read none.) I read them all--whether I am an actor in the cast or the director. I have been fortunate to receive mostly favorable reviews over the years.
    This guy on the web did not like my workshop. Too little brainstorming content--though he liked my particular process. Too many references to God, for him. (I was speaking to 200 church workers, in a church, on the topic of infusing the church with more creativity. If it had been a dental convention I suspect he would have taken umbrage with my references to teeth.) The early sentences of his critique were so negative I almost stopped reading in the belief that I was not going to learn anything from his criticism.  (That’s important to me--criticize me, but teach me something as you complain.) Then, suddenly the sky parted, the sun burst through dark clouds, and this level four gale-force become a warm, soothing breeze.
    As under-whelmed as he was with my content, he was equally impressed with my delivery. He went on and on about my humor, energy,  enthusiasm. Now I thought about not reading on as it was a bit embarrassing. There were a few digs at the whole concept of “motivational speaking” (a phrase I have never employed about me.) Apparently he’s doing great and needs no assistance or advice. But he did come to my workshop--for the donuts?
    Where do you go for honest, helpful, criticism? Are there folks in your life whom you can depend on for strong, clear, focussed feedback that’s restorative and energizing?   There are plenty of folks around me and you who can be relied on to be only or mostly negative. They are NOT good critics. (They are also not your friend--if they are only or mostly negative.) I choose to listen to long-time friends who I am certain have my best interests in mind. They cheer when I do well and have keen insights as to where I can improve. They are not “wallet kissing,” toadies and sycophants.
    My mom was a speech coach and theatrical director and always had sharp insights to help hone my “performance.” My friend Ken Davis, speaker, speaking coach, comedian, always has a encouraging word or three and a penetrating observation that leads to an Ah Ha! moment, growth, and improvement. I count on it. In fact, I speak better when a friend is in the hall whom I know will have helpful feedback later.
    Whom do you count on? When you need encouragement and affirmation who do you page? Do they come running--even if there were way over in the “H” Concourse. And when they page you, are you available or busy standing in line at McDreary’s for lunch?
    Those that come running: keep there names handing.
    Page them often.                                                                       [ 706 ]

• genius bar

    ~ Hanging with the Nerd Squad

I am standing at the Genius Bar surrounded by lots of very popular guys. Everyone wants to talk with them. So popular are they that one must go online to sign up for the opportunity to have their attention, and their genius--make an appointment
    Macintosh computer users know that I am referring to the phalanx of Apple Store employees who, more than their peers, are available -- free of charge -- to assist Mac users with any and all questions -- Mac-related, of course. Evey Apple Store, along with the team of "regular" Apple employees available to answer questions and demo their superior products, has a counter where we Apple user come for assistance  -- the Genius Bar. They really know their stuff, Apple / Macintosh computer stuff (plus iPod and related add-ons.) 
    (They did make the mistake one day of asking me, "Is there anything else we can help you with today, McNair?")
     "Yes!" I said gleefully. "How do we get Barbara Boxer out of the U.S. Senate? Soon!"
    "Can't really help you with that one, sir."
    But they can help you with a whole bunch of stuff. You might imagine they are all highly trained in long, multi-week training sessions at some secretive, underground, Apple boot camp. Nope.
    Truth be told, they all apply to Apple when they are already full-formed computer nerds.
    "Some of us are card-carrying nerds." I was told by a "regular," non-Genius Bar Apple Store worker at the Emmeryville shop. (Just a few mega pixels from Pixar Studios)
    "I had two whole weeks of training to work here." He continued.
    "Eight hour days?"
    "Nope. Ten hour days." He sighed. "Full days."
    "But you were a Mac guy before you applied I wondered.
    "Oh, yeah." As his eyes rolled back into his cranial hard drive. "I'm a complete computer nerd. And this" (pointing to Jaimie who had "helped" me earlier) "Is Poppa Nerd."
    "Is the guy on the other end Grampa Munster Nerd?"
    They all looked at me--it was a full nerd take--with the blankest stares. Clearly I had ventured beyond the boundaries the limits of their obscure cultural reference settings. None the less, I was amongst greatness. (Or is it "among" greatness?)
    What if other fields had a Genius setting. Might we consult a grocery genius at Safeway, Winn-Dixie, or Piggly Wiggly?
    I'd like to meet the airline genius at any airport to "splain" a few air travel anomalies to me.
    Could we identify a genius level person or two among our elected officials. Maybe all candidates could go for a two week, ten hours-a-day, pre-campaign training. We all can list some of the subjects that would need to be covered and tested for.
    I'm dreaming, of course, but, hey...that's what I do.
    So, for today, and all day tomorrow, I herewith designate you a certified genius in any area of life--you choose the subject. In the next 30 hours you must inform at least three persons--outside of your immediate family and coworkers--that, "I am a genius at (insert subject of expertise here.) Then say...
    "How can I help you?"

[ Let me know how your thirty hours of genius goes.  If it works well for you, you can get an extension.]

[549]

• meet me at the diner

Al Roker makes me hungry. He's on the Food Channel (channel 35 here in St. Francis Bay) visiting great diners of the U.S. Even stopped by a couple of my favorites: Mickey's in St. Paul, Minnesota. Mickey's has been opened 24/7 for 65 years. The current proprietors are the grandchildren of the original owners. The menu and their recipes are unchanged. That's why we Mickey's lovers keep going back. I was just there in June.

There's a dependability and therefore a comfort in the unchanged nature of diners--the decor and the bill o' fare.
    As much as I am a fan of change, I am also drawn to the comfort and reliability of consistency. I eat breakfast two or three mornings a week (when I'm home) at the same place--Rockridge Cafe. I have been ordering the exact same breakfast for so long that the entire staff knows my order and the substitutions by heart. Many times I have merely greeted the server with a simple, "Good afternoon." (I usually arrive after high noon.)
    They smile and say, "The usual?"
    The big variable is the toast. Some days I'll be i an English muffin mood, other days a bagel or sour dough bread. Whichever it will be toasted and buttered in the kitchen y the cook. And the entree? "Alaskan Scrambler: simply scrambled eggs with smoked Salmon tossed in and through. Along the way I've tried other items, but ALWAYS wished I gotten "the usual."
    There is a comfort, too, I find in the consistency of my best friends. They can be depended on for always being available to chat, hang out, help out, or just meet for a late night listen. Some are English muffins, others are bagels, and a few are sour dough--GOOD sour dough.
    Even on their bad days, good friends are great to be with, anywhere.
    There's always hot tea at breakfast. Hence the name of this blog spot - - Tea with McNair. I have a favorite photo of Rockridge Cafe--I shot it at closing time as the setting sun was stream in through the fron windows. It will soon appear at the top of this blog--as soon as the weather clears. 
    Meanwhile it has taken a while to get blogging. I want to get the essays on creativity from my online newsletter, McNAIR MAIL, archived and posted. Some are here now, but not in any order. Once i figure out the Typepad.com maze of online instructions, I post them all and arrange them chronologically. I think the folks that run this site are working on steam-powered, Windows-based, PC. If it was a Mac-based program it would be faaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr simpler and more intuitive. Oh, well. Everyone can't be in their right mind.  The friend who got me going on this site said, "It's a little complicated and frustrating at first." I think "at first" means the first decade of so.
    So the reliability, comfort, and consistency  I look for at the Rockridge Cafe and Mickey's diner is not yet available in the blogging world. But the population of Blogland grows, new citizens will expect simpler, more user friendly procedures.  Change will come and it will be good
    It took me several tries to get a server at Rockridge to ask the temperamental chef to butter my toast IN the kitchen. (The little wrapped squares were messy and greasy. As often as not I'm on my Mac writing and thinking and just want to get eatin'.) Eventually Robert--long time server extraordinaire got the chef to bend and butter. Now I assure new servers, "It's okay. He'll do it for me. He knows my order.
    It helps, too, that I am a big tipper. A young College of the Arts student works just as hard replenishing my hot tea water, sweetener, and cream as an evening server stopping by to ask, "How is everything?"
    We don't have time for my real answer.
    See you at the diner.                                                                                                                                                                        [674]